So, Cairns now has an Institute providing supposedly complementary and alternative medicine (SCAM). Their flyer appeared in my mailbox on Friday along with that for another SCAM merchant. Of course the word institute can be used willy nilly by anyone setting up a business, even  a snake oil merchant. Some quack just wants to make themselves more believable, so they name their business as an Institute. This purveyor of modern snake oils offer a wide range of SCAMs, including homeopathy, ear candling, iridology, applied kinesiology, acupuncture and chiropractic . One SCAM is never enough. I’m sure they sincerely believe in the crap they sell, but they’re deluded.

I dropped into their website and noticed they misrepresented homeopathy. They claimed it was a “system of complimentary (sic) medicine in which disease is treated by minute doses of natural substances”. This is a common misrepresentation of homeopathy – it actually dilutes its original substances to the point there is none of it at all in the final solution given to the patient. It contains nothing but dilutant (usually distilled water). Homeopaths believe that the water remembers what was once in it (the memory effect) and that this memory is the thing that does the healing. Homeopathy is the ultimate example of the placebo in alternative medicine. It is, however, generally very safe – a mass suicide using homeopathic sleeping pills failed dismally earlier this year. The true beliefs of homeopaths are hard to sell, so this could be an example of a deliberately dishonest statement on their website to get around that problem.

Ear candling is a rather laughable “therapy” in which a candle is supposed to create pressure to draw toxins out of the ear (even if that was possible at all). The candle doesn’t generate enough pressure to draw ear wax out let alone toxins. The residue the therapists display at the end is actually just from the candle itself, which can be demonstrated by burning one while it sits in a jar. Benefits are entirely due to the placebo effect, and there is the risk of perforated ear drums as well as the obvious dangers of hot wax in the ear.

Acupunture can have some mild analgesic effects, but it doesn’t matter where the needles go in. There is no chi, and there are no meridians along which it flows. Acupuncture can produce a strong placebo effect due to its elaborate nature and the use of needles (needles are a better placebo than pills). There are some dangers, and they likely outweigh any possible benefits.

Chiropractic is another SCAM which a lot of people don’t understand. There’s a bit of a schism amongst chiropractors, with traditional and “scientific” wings. The “scientific” wing way have some benefit, though it’sreally just massage and physiotherapy. It may be of some benefit in skeletal and muscular problems. Traditional chiropractic claims that an energy unknown to science, called the innate intelligence or energy, flows through the body and that disruptions to that flow cause disease. Claims are made about treating all sorts of problems, including cancer, asthma, colic, etc. It is, of course, complete bollocks. Note that manipulation of the neck, popular with chiropractors of both wings, can be dangerous and indeed fatal. Get a massage instead – it’s more enjoyable, just as effective, and it’s safer and cheaper. Personally I would seek a professional with the name Inga, Helga or similar.

Many of their other listed therapies are also bullshit. A couple (such as counselling or breast thermography) may have some benefit, though I would suggest finding a more credible provider. And if the Institute doesn’t offer your particular favourite snake oil, I’m sure they’ll add it to their list. I doubt anything could be too stupid and out of touch with reality.

I should also note that whoever wrote the Institute’s brochure seems not to understand the proper use  of apostrophes. Among the list they have Cupping’s, Kinesiology’s Treatments, Reflexologies’, and Chiropractor’s.